The moment of truth

Monday morning

6:00 a.m.: Wake up groggy, then realize what day it is, still hit the snooze button.
6:05 a.m.: Realize that there isn’t a grass blade’s chance in the Sahara of going back to
sleep.
6:10 a.m.: Get into a hot bath, freak out because I could be pregnant and be inadvertently
boiling my little swimmer.
6:11 a.m.: Immediately drain the hot water and take a cold shower.
6:30 a.m.: Wake up my husband and ask him if he knows what day it is.
“Uhhh....Monday, what time is it?” is his dreary reply.
7:00 a.m.: Pace in front of the door with my purse, only 20 more minutes before I get to
go to work!
7:20 a.m.: Race my husband out of the driveway while fastening my seat belt and turning
off the radio so I won’t have anything to distract my thoughts.
7:30 a.m.: Realize that in my haste and anticipation I forgot my lunch. Crap.
7:55 a.m.: Race to my desk just in case they call right at 8:00.
10:00 a.m.: Finally get desperate and run to the bathroom and back as fast as I can.
10:03 a.m.: Finish drying my hands on my pants and stare at the phone. Then realize
that I might have missed the call and email all my coworkers to see if I have
any messages.
10:05 a.m.: Mope because I have no messages.
10:05-11:00 a.m.: Jump every single time that stupid dang old phone rings and answer
more calls in one hour than I have ever answered in this god forsaken
stupid place and if I have to work one more single minute without MY
PHONE CALL I MIGHT JUST SCREAM!!!!!!
11:01 a.m.: Riiiiiiing! Practically run for the door because I’m so sick of hearing that
stupid phone ring. Then run back in the door to see if it’s for me.
11:02 a.m: OMG! It’s for me.
Kay (nurse): “Heather”
Me: a breathless “yes”
Kay: “How are you today?”
Me: Oh god, is that a congratulations how are you today or a sorry you suck
how are you today? A timid “fine?”.
Kay: “I just wanted to let you know that your test came back positive”
Me: A confused “what came back positive?”
Kay: “your pregnancy test, your pregnant”
Me: Nothing
Kay: “congratulations”
Me: “Really? Are you lying to me? Are you sure?”
Kay: “yes, you are pregnant; we just need to set up your new mommy visit”
Me: “I have to get off here, I just have to, can I......I’m going to cry.”
Kay: “Your estimated due date is December 24th, congratulations”
Me: sobbing “thank you so much, oh god thank you so much”